Update: And if everyone wants to know where my rancor comes from, it’s simple. I’ve always had a positive/neutral slant on things at Padre’s. I’ve given them tons of positive press for free (and never received a single free drink or chili dog in return). David Beebe wants to mask Indian for next year’s Mardi Gras. On marfalist.org I pointed out this was profoundly disrespectful to this tradition that he claims to love and cherish. He responded to me in a very condescending and childish way. To me, this revealed his true character. He is another deluded middle-class white boy making beaucoup money off of THE ARTISTIC LEGACY OF POOR AFRICAN-AMERICANS! If he truly revered these customs, then there wouldn’t be a problem.
Go ahead and mask Indian, make gumbo and play blues, white boy. Just don’t be a mealy-mouthed hypocrite about it.
And, according to an authority I consulted who masks with the Wild Magnolias, he could conceivably wear the Indian Chief costume as a costume (on Halloween, to a costume ball, on television, jamming with P-Funk, etc.) but it is a serious breach of custom to lead a Mardi Gras parade wearing it without belonging to an Indian tribe. In the olden days, another Indian tribe would have filled him full of lead or cut his throat.
•The place is cold as fuck and under-heated for four months out of the year. Seriously, if you can’t afford to warm up the joint, think about getting a payday loan, cold miser. Or just turn up the heat, padre.
- The employees all congregate at one end of the bar and bullshit and Facebook in a little clique when they should be scrubbing toilets and making sandwiches.
- The drinks are way over-priced for rural Texas.
- One of the barmaids thinks that a bar is an appropriate daycare for her child. This poor kid has to listen to a bunch of middle-aged drunks talk about chasing pussy and getting drunk… as a child who grew up in Texas bars, this is asking for problems down the road. Drunks aren’t good role models.
- The people preparing food don’t wear gloves or hairnets.
- They serve burgers, but they don’t serve french fries. I know, it’s unbelievable, but Padre’s serves burgers but doesn’t serve french fries.
- They do not serve that sweet nectar of the Gods know as Coca-Cola. Yes, there are two types of Finnish vodka, but you cannot drink the most popular drink in America.
- I am a recovering alcoholic. Padre’s consistently overserves and enables the alcoholism of the ‘regulars’ at the bar. This is not only illegal, it is morally reprehensible. One of my close friends drank too much there and hit a parked car. Of course, he needs to take personal responsibility for his actions. However, the staff at Padre’s illegally allowed him to get drunk and drive home and have an auto accident. In many people’s eyes, they are equally responsible for the accident.
- It’s in an old funeral home. One of the owners is an ordained priest. To me that just seems creepy.
- The pinball machines don’t work, but you can’t get a refund on them.
- Too many hipster motherfuckers with skinny jeans and bad mustaches.
- You practically have to rape someone to get kicked out of here. I saw a drunk cowboy brush up aggressively against women against their will for nearly a half hour (there were numerous complaints, I made one) before he was ejected. According to the staff, “He’s a harmless regular.” David Beebe, you lost more customers than you kept that night.
- It’s in Marfa.
- They don’t have standards of service for the kitchen and bar because they don’t have to… there are so few bars in Marfa and they are of such consistently poor quality that no one tries. This is a big problem throughout the Big Bend: “Oh no, that bartender isn’t surly, he’s colorful. No, this isn’t an ill-kempt shithole, it’s funky. Our waitstaff aren’t snotty, they’re hip.”