Here are the five sure-fire steps to making a professional baseball team profitable in Alpine, Texas:
- Get rid of everyone’s television, computer and newspapers so that they can’t keep up with Major League Baseball
- Find a corporate sponsor who has more money than sense
- Import about 20,000 rabid baseball fans. House them in a tent city near the field.
- Destroy every CD player, video game machine and DVD player so that there is absolutely nothing to do
- Have world class athletes competing at the height of their powers
A pro baseball team is a 50/50 proposition for a town like Pocatello, Idaho, which has local television affiliates and a population of 50,000. For Alpine, a microscopic media market, it’s out of the question. There ain’t enough meat for the seats and eyes for the ads.
We have a beautiful relic of a ball field in Kokernot Field. I don’t think that that ball team that played there was every really profitable, even in the good old days before everyone had a TV. It was just an old rancher’s way of putting on a party for the whole community.
People’s expectations are different now. They’ve watched real athletes competing on TV, so watching a bunch of dudes being paid minimum wage sod off in the baseball field seems a little dull.
This is an ugly ugly truth, but someone needs to say it: the Big Bend Cowboys were an ill-conceived gamble that never paid off.
— — —
–The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.
— Samuel Butler