The Quaids are in Jail, So They Can’t Sue Me for Libel

The Quaids are in Jail, So They Can’t Sue Me for Libel

It’s a holiday here at West Texas Weekly!

The Quaids are in jail so they can’t sue me for libel! I mean technically they can, but it would be a gross misuse of their legal resources given their rampage of petty larceny and bill-dodging.

So here is what I have to say:

  • Evi Quaid is stone-cold crazy.
  • Randi Quaid is embarrassing his poor brother Dennis.
  • They both seem to have the morals of polecats. Who breaks into a guesthouse and squats there? Besides Kato Kaelin?
  • Sources at local hotels report that Randy consumes a liter (or more) of premium vodka a day. Grey Goose seems to be the tipple of choice.
  • The Quaids are free-loading scamsters. Their Hollywood credibility allows them to check-in to a hotel and have a ‘free-ride’. I think the hoteliers allowing them to do this must have s!@# for brains. I don’t have an Oscar, so I have to leave a credit card imprint in case I eat that $5.75 Toblerone in the mini-bar.
  • Randy and Evi Quaid in Underwear

    I'm Glad Your Legs are Crossed, Evi

  • The crazy news is that there are scam victims who haven’t sued! People are becoming afraid that they won’t have the resources to ever pay their bills. Which is sad because Randy is raking in residuals from Independence Day and National Lampoon.
  • Both of them need psychiatric counseling. Evi especially. She’s crazier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
  • Both of them are less than impressive in their underwear. I am mainly posting these pictures as a warning to young children who want to leave for Hollywood.
  • It reflects poorly on any lawyer who has given them legal aid [throat clearing] Rod Ponton? Rod Ponton?

OH YEAH! One last thing, my private investigator source in California lets the following bomb loose:
“Randy and Evi Quaid rented this mobile home from Lois Kennedy from June to August 2009. They talked her into taking her mobile home off the selling market and then never paid her. They left her mobile home a complete mess and their dog, Doggie urinated all over the place.”

Evi Quaid Nude

Somebody Burn Those Sheets!

This is shocking… who in their right mind would name a dog Doggie? Defrauding an elderly woman of rental monies on trailer… the Classical Wineaux would blush to do such a thing.

On second thought, why am I worried about them suing me? Truth is an absolute defense to libel and every word of this is true.

Randy Quaid Without a Shirt